There’s been a time warp in Stepson’s room. Time stopped there when he was about nine, roundabout the time his parents split up. He still has his Star Wars duvet cover, glow- in-the-dark stars and themed curtains. The certificates on his wall are from his primary school ( he’s just finished Year 10) and he seems to be saving the very dust from the days before The Split.
Life Before The Split
Not that life was happy then. From what I can make out ( and let me stress that I did not know Prince Charming existed until several years after his marriage had ended) there was a very unhappy household, with lots of rows, interspersed with periods of silence and atmospheres of bitterness and recrimination. Stepson seems to have kept a low profile and avoided expressing an opinion, as to do so would always displease one of his parents. It can’t have been happy but I suppose it was home.
The Split
Anyway, The Split came, child and mother moved out and long legal wrangles ensued. Prince Charming worked tirelessly to maintain his role as father and to minimise 
damage to his relationship with his son. More of that in future blogs, perhaps. Stepson learned to divide his time between two very different homes.
Resisting Change
Several times, we broached the subject of a room improvement but Stepson didn’t want it. He avoids change. Perhaps he finds security in familiarity. He likes the same sandwich filling every day, the same subject of conversation, the same brand and flavour of pizza. He will happily watch the same old film four or five times, rather than choose a new one.
Over the past year, we’ve introduced a few changes and he’s initially objected but eventually approved. His old cricket bat now hangs on the wall. A special OS map of places to visit in the UK has replaced the tatty, 
badly torn poster he had by his bed. A large clock has appeared next to the door. He likes these changes. So far, so good.
Finding a Fresh Future.
This week, we have started to redecorate his room. He is away with his mum for three weeks. When he returns, he will have a new. fresh, teenage, prepare-to-be-a-student bedroom.
Hopefully, when he returns at then end of August, he will be delighted to see the change. There will be new curtains, new bedding, more space where the built-in cupboards used to be, fresh paint on the walls and his posters, clock and bat all hanging in place once again. Hopefully, he will face the new academic year with fresh hope, and find that he can imagine a happy future and grow away from the traumas of the past.
Doubts
But I don’t know whether we’re doing the right thing. Should we drag him away from his nine year-old past into his fifteen year-old present? If you are a stepchild or a stepmum and you have a view on this, let me learn from your experience. And tell me, should I leave the Star Wars duvet cover in the airing cupboard, just in case, or should I throw it out irretrievably so he has to move forward? What would you do?