Since 2014, I seem to have had fresh starts in all areas of life and now I’ve been told about yet another. In recent years I’ve had a new home, new job, new business, new friends, new husband and now I’m very excited to announce the expectation of a new baby.
Naturally, as I am well into middle age with grown up children, this is not my own child . My son and daughter-in-law FaceTimed from their home in the Far East and casually said they’d been to the hospital.
“Oh dear,” I said, as mothers do. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” my firstborn replied, grinning widely. And he showed us a black and white picture of the tiny little tadpole which is my grandchild. 
Whoops of Delight
You can imagine the whoops and squeals of delight and congratulation that followed. When order was somewhat restored, we talked a little about where it might be born and whether daughter-in-law is sick and how long it would take me to finish Husband’s jumper and start knitting for Bump. It was all wonderfully happy and positive and fresh and hopeful.
Accepting New Roles.
And then they asked what I wanted the child to call me: Granny,? Grandma,? Nana? We tried out various alternatives in different languages too. They all sound like someone else and not me. 
This is another new role for me to play, another fresh start in several lives and a totally new little person to appear on the stage. I love the role. I can’t wait to meet watch the bump grow and to babysit and to read Alfie stories and Sophie stories again. I just don’t feel old enough to wear the name.
Is this how Emma Thompson felt when she moved from playing Beatrice in ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ to take on the worried mother in ‘Love Actually’? 
Grandmother is a much more endearing role than Stepmother, but am I really old enough to be convincing?
Of course I am! This is how I’ve felt at every new stage of life. Not quite ready, not quite old enough, not quite experienced enough or clever enough or brave enough. Every time, I’ve discovered that I was ready, and that there were people around to teach and support me. This time, I will be there to teach and support them.
Now, where did I put my knitting needles? 