Every traditional tale worth its salt begins with the obligatory line: ‘Once upon a time…’ And it ends, of course, with the marriage that precedes the final line: ‘….they all lived happily ever after.’
Chasing the Dream
Even though we know we shouldn’t, we chase that dream. We work and plan and dream and study and wait and strive, in the hope that for us, one day, at last, the happiness will kick in and last for good. 
I’ve done this myself. I worked hard at school to get my place at university. I worked hard at university to get my degree. I worked hard in my job to further my career, pay for the house, be a role model for the children.
Disappointment
The thing is, over and over again, something happens to prevent the happy ending we were headed for. Someone is taken ill. Your company makes you redundant. 
An unexpected baby arrives or a much longed for baby doesn’t.
Each time it happens, we are surprised and heart-broken. We cry, eat ice-cream, go for retail therapy, mull it over with our friends, rationalise, read about it and come to terms with the disappointment. Then we pick ourselves up, re-group, and make a new plan. We learn which friends can be trusted, what really matters. We discover new strength in ourselves and refine our values and faith. We count our blessings, and dust ourselves down and set off again. The thing is, we set off again and then start chasing the happy- ever- after that we’ve just decided isn’t that important.
Re-inventing the Dream.
I’ve definitely done this myself. Having worked years to pay off the mortgage on our marital home, I faced a divorce which led to splitting the assets and changing my retirement plans. I was shattered. All the things I’d been working for and expecting were gone. My ‘happy ever after’ was a ruin. My dreams were not going to come true.
I cried, worried, mulled it over (endlessly!) with my long-suffering friends. I agreed and believed that my family and friends were what mattered. My independence was vital and intact. My future could be rosy. Before I knew it, I had a new plan. And instead of concentrating on ‘now’, I was planning for ‘happy ever after’.
Some years later, I have a new husband, new home and new life. I am enjoying my days. I have a wonderful band of very faithful and reliable friends. I have food on the table, a comfy bed and a reliable shower. And I now realise have plans for … ‘happy ever after’.
Shifting My Focus
I’ve shifted my focus from now to the future. Once again, the future is becoming more important than the present. I am spending some of the equity from one of our houses on time and investment to set up my business. 
Instead of thinking how wonderful to be spending the present in such a positive way, I keep thinking I am risking my ‘happy ever after’. Yet I already know from experience that happy ever after doesn’t turn out as you expect, and that’s actually ok.
A Sense of Perspective.
Today, though, I read the tribute a young widow, Lissie Harper, wrote to her police officer husband after his unexpected and untimely death, only 28 days into their marriage. It put things into perspective. She had just begun her happy ever after, as brides do. But it doesn’t last ‘ever after’. There are bereavements, pains, betrayals, accidents, illnesses and terror attacks. Life is a series of mountains and valleys, and we need to find what beauty we can in each day.
Most importantly, I need to stop spoiling my lovely day today with worries about what may or may not happen tomorrow. I might lose the house. I might never earn another penny. I might rent the wrong property and put spelling mistakes on my advertising boards and forget all my first aid training when the child is choking on a pen top, but it won’t help at all for me to worry about that now.
The truth is, I might not have a future at all, and then I will have wasted the time I did have worrying about the future I wasn’t going to see.